A fellow editor and colleague of dad gave him some unique thoughts on an ageless subject – “ANGER”. It’s not only worth repeating, but the principle should be taken out of moth-balls and put back into circulation. Here are some of his thoughts…
“Solomon based his advice on one of the simple truths of human nature when he said, “a soft answer turns away wrath” (Proverbs 15:1). Since then, students of human behavior, as well as, have been trying to understand why (this) was so. Speech researchers have also recently performed some experiments to see if they could get at the root of why this was so.
They used telephones and intercom systems, asking people simple questions, each in a different degree of loudness. Invariably, the answers came back in the same volume as the questions were asked. When speaking with a soft tone of voice, a soft answer came back. Loudness resulted in loudness. Those on the receiving end were always influenced by the tones of the speaker.
Another result of the test showed that one CAN control his own anger by controlling the volume of his voice.
Whether we talk louder because we are angry, or become angry because we talk loudly – we don’t know, but anger resulted either way… One conclusion was inescapable: THE LOUDER YOU TALK, THE ANGRIER YOU BECOME.
Try this experiment on your own. Test it for yourself. Prove the principle and place it in your permanent files for daily use. CAUTION – THIS WILL BE A POTENTIALLY EXPLOSIVE SITUATION! Reprimand or point out a deficiency in someone who is known for having a ‘hot temper’. Keep your tone of voice low and keep it soft and mellow. The other person will be forced to keep his own voice down (soft and low), although it may take some time. Anger and softness don’t go together.
The wise man was right when he wrote, “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that rules his spirit is better than he that takes a city” (Proverbs 16:32).
Anger is a normal human emotion… controlling it… is what takes effort. Many people have a big heart, but their ‘fuse’ is too short. They ‘go off’ at the least little thing. Paul writes, “In your anger, do not sin; do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” (Ephesians 4:26). ‘Time’ is important here, because the more time you give and the more you ‘feed’ anger, the more it grows, controls and dominates. The more you dwell on ‘it’, the worse ‘it’ gets, the worse it gets… the more regrets you will have because of the pain you will cause. Paul calls it giving Satan a “foothold”, a place to really ‘dig in’, work, control and dominate.
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths”, “Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God”, Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice” (Ephesians 4:29-31).
“Speak softly and carry a big stick” is not always a bad idea, but learning to speak softly, may help you not need to use a big stick.
Monthly Archives: August 2014
Little Annie
A number of years ago there was a mental institution outside of Boston that had a little girl locked in a dungeon known as “Little Annie.” She was considered “hopelessly insane” and put her in a cage. However, there was an elderly nurse who was serving in the institution, who felt that no one was beyond the love of God. She took it upon herself to communicate this love to her.
Little Annie was like a wild animal. Sometimes she would attack those who came into her cage. At other times she would act as if they weren’t even there.
The elderly nurse decided to start eating her lunch while sitting beside Annie’s cage in the dungeon. She offered her a brownie, but was ignored. So, she left some beside the cage in the evening. The next morning they were gone. So, every Thursday, she continued to bring her brownies. After a brief time, little Annie was moved “upstairs.” Eventually Little Annie was told she could leave the institution and go out into the world, but she didn’t want to leave. She wanted to stay and help someone else like the nurse had helped her.
The story now shifts to England. Queen Victoria is pinning England’s highest award on a lady named, Helen Keller. She asks her, “How do you account for that fact that even though you were both blind and deaf, you were able to accomplish so much in your life?” Without hesitation Helen said that if it had not been for Anne Sullivan, the world would never have known about Helen Keller.
Probably you have guessed, Anne Sullivan was “Little Annie.” She saw Helen Keller as one who needed God’s love to. She loved her, played with her, disciplined her, pushed her until she became a blessing to the world. Helen Keller influenced millions after her own life was touched by “Little Annie.”
Loving people is what Jesus was all about. One day Lazarus became sick. His disciples told him about it, since Jesus loved Lazarus, Mary and Martha. Jesus however, waited till Lazarus died before going. Why? So his disciples would see something very special. Something that would build their faith.
When Jesus arrived at Bethany, Martha came out to meet Jesus and was wondering why he had not come earlier. Jesus reassures her… all is not lost. You see, Jesus is the resurrection and the life.
It was not all about teaching and building faith though… Jesus loved Lazarus… he loved people.
In John 11:36 it says, “See how he loved him!” How did they know? What does love look like?
Well, if you read the previous verses, you find that Jesus “SAW,” “HE WAS DEEPLY MOVED,” “TROUBLED,” “and he “WEPT.” Loving people like Jesus does involves more than a casual glance as you can see in the story of the Good Samaritan. Love is seen in actions, not just heard in words. Learn how to love like Jesus.
Lisa And Bess On “Love”
John says “God is love” (I John 4:8). We express his love everyday in the little things we say and do. Yet trying to understand this love has often defied our ability to define it. To some, “lust” is love. To another, “freedom and privilege” is love. Others think “feelings and emotions” are the closest way to understand this love. However, until one looks into the Bible and looks at the life of Jesus, we will never really understand much less be able to define real love.
Though this love, one can overcome all sorts of obstacles and difficulties both personally and in one’s family. Through it ‘bitterness’ can be changed to ‘betterness’. Enemies are overcome by it’s strange power. The ‘fault-line’ we saw in others, disappears and amazingly never fails. By it’s power, ventures are begun and victories are won.
Jesus one day placed a little child in the middle of a crowd, and announced that they had to become like these to know and enter the kingdom of God. Why? Because children understand what love is. They are quick to forgive and put things behind and continue on.
Recently I was reading the “Enquirer” and it had an article on Lisa (8 years old) and Bess (12 years old). When Lisa was asked “What is love?” This is what she said… “Love is something you can’t see, touch or smell. Love is when you make good in school and your parents tell everybody about it!” “Love is when your parents buy you something and go without for themselves.” “Love is seeing your new baby brother for the first time.”
“Love is helping someone or just smiling at them. Love is sharing with someone and forgetting about the time they didn’t share with you.” “Love is forgiving everyone of the things they did to you.” “Love is knowing you are loved and loving everyone back.” “Love is giving… not taking.” “Love for fellowman and love for God go together.”
When Bess was asked this question she said… “Love is like a gift. It can be like a gust of wind, or fragile like a tea cup. It’s always beautiful.” “Love is helping, reaching out, and caring. It is being involved with others and putting their needs before your own.” “Love is raking leaves for a sick neighbor, sharing your last donut, petting a puppy, and getting dad a glass of iced-tea on a hot day.”
It seems like these two young girls are wiser than many of us adults. Perhaps we too could learn from children about what the kingdom of God is really like.
Dad’s definition of love: “Love is the fixed, deliberate decision of the heart that places the concern and needs of someone else above that of your own self. It is not based on emotions but gives rise to the emotions that bring life to your life. You see this love in Jesus… Every time the Bible says, He “saw” or “looked” it follows up with things like “He was moved with compassion”, “He was deeply moved in his heart” and then he ACTED. One time it says, “Jesus wept” and afterwards, Lazarus was raised from the dead!
Much thanks to Lisa and Bess!
Life Begins At 40
Here is an article that dad wrote back in 1974! “A man recently designed a plane that will fly passengers from New York to London in an hour and fifty minutes, and from London to Sydney, Australia in less than three hours. He is also designed some of the first and most successful airplanes. He is NOW in his eighties! Most people die before they are eighty.
“The Bible gives us a ‘rule of thumb’ for how long we have in this life – “three score and ten” (70 years). This is just average of course. In any case, the process of aging is directly tied to how we use our time. One can be young and productive in his eighties, just as others can be old and haggard in their forties!
“Sometimes, age discourages us, since many believe that only the young can have effective new ideas and strength to carry them out.
“Voltaire, the famous French poet and philosopher, wrote over 20,000 letters and 2,000 books and articles, and produced his masterpiece ‘tragedy’ called “Irene” in his eighties, and travelled to Paris to see it before he died at eighty-three.
“Plato, was a student until age fifty and then began a great teaching center.
Phillip Brooks, was most effective in the religious and intellectual world in his sixties.
“Socrates, gave the world his greatest sayings and thoughts when he was sixty-eight.
“Jules Verne, past seventy years old before he gave the world his greatest stories.
“Goethe, of Germany, wrote the first part of “Faust” when he was fifty six and finished it when he was eighty-two.
“Gladstone, the English Statesman was a political figure and educator up into his eighties.
(Dad asked an elderly Christian friend how she lived so long (she was 104). She said, “I just keep on breathing.” Yet there is more to life than to “keep on breathing.”) The important ingredient to “staying young” is creativity! A train conductor maintains a job that doesn’t change… yet with the tremendous power of the mind, one can create in such a task, a genuine joy.
“The greatest challenge of all is in succeeding in one’s family. Raising children is a joy and a challenge… but more important is having a successful relationship with your husband or wife. Children eventually leave… it’s the way it should be.
“Raise your sites in life. Determine that longetivity and creativity can go together. Refuse to be side-tracked or side-lined. Work hard on new ideas. Engage the mind in new productions. Life should always be an adventure.
“You will find that action stops anxiety. Decision brings direction. Determination brings accomplishment. Accomplishment brings a real good feeling, no matter how old you are.
“Get busy, make a difference in this life and in the life of someone else…and occasionally pause and pay your respects to those who pass away.”
“This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalms 118:24)
Committing Slow Suicide
“He who kills time, kills himself… for time is what life is made of.” Dad said, “To preachers, orators, and young lovers, time is but an illusion.” Yet to all of us, time is very important. How many of us would not give all we have, for more time? Maybe a “do-over.” Jesus said, “As long as it is day, we must do the work of him who sent me. Night is coming when no one can work” (John 9:4). Someone said, “Everything comes to the one who waits, except the time lost in waiting.” Killing time, wasting time… is slow suicide.
We only have a little time on this earth. If you are thirty years old, (all going well), you have approximately 8,000 days left to live with modern medicines and advancements. If you are forty years old, that becomes 6,000. If you are fifty, that leaves you with 4,000 days. Modern advancements in medicine, exercise, healthy living of course may give more time, and hopefully a quality of life. Solomon said, “Teach us to number our days so that we may apply our hearts to wisdom.”
“The clock of life is wound but once,
And no man has the power
To tell just when the hands will stop
At late or early hour.”
Now is the only time you have… Live, love, toil with a will to accomplish. Place no faith in tomorrow.
“Be very careful then, how you live – not as unwise, but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is” (Ephesians 5:15-17). The King James Bible says, “redeeming the time”, which literally means to “buy up opportunities.”
The ancient Greeks saw “opportunity” as a “half-bald-headed” woman. You may grab her by the hair as she comes, but cannot when she comes back and passes you again.
The Hebrews writer says to Christians… “GROW UP!” You should be more advanced, to the point that you can teach others. Lazy Christians who want only to be spoon fed with a spiritual milk bottle instead of growing to the point where they can handle ‘meat’, are wasting time (Hebrews 5:11-14). Here are some more phrases in Hebrews which encourage us to GROW UP, and quit wasting time… “Pay more careful attention” (Hebrews 2:1), “Fix your thoughts on Jesus” (Hebrews 3:1), “Do not harden your hearts” (Hebrews 3:8, 15), “Be careful” (Hebrews 4:1), “Hold firmly to the faith we profess” (Hebrews 4:14), “Approach the throne of grace with confidence” (Hebrews 4:10). Jesus did not waste time! He “learned” and he “became” (Hebrews 5:7-10). He accomplished his mission in about THREE YEARS (or about 1,095 days).
Time is opportunity! Opportunity to learn, to grow, to become, to do, to encourage, to save, to teach… There is nothing we can do about time past except cherish memories, learn lessons. Today we can come to Jesus for the gift of his grace to deal with the past that haunts us. What should we do about tomorrow? If you get a ‘tomorrow’… don’t waste it!