“I Quit” – (Part Four) (Solutions)

This article is part 4 of 7 in the series I Quit

   Obviously, as long as a husband or wife or church member has in their minds, a ‘way of escape’ when the ‘hard times’ come… the probability of taking that way out is great. The ‘bigger’ Jesus is in your life, the less likely you are to ‘bail out’! We have to get this settled. We just don’t quit! Well, saying it, ‘don’t make it so!’ So how can we ‘make it so’?

In this and the next few articles we will be looking at: Prayer (Help me Lord!!), Commitment (we are ‘glued’ to each other), Patience (endurance / giving each other ‘elbow room’), Forgiveness (‘first stone’), Love (agape style), The Holy Spirit (Our Helper), Disagree if you must, BUT…, Practical suggestions like: “Things change”. Why? well, hopefully, these will give us at least some ideas on how to be stronger, “steadfast, unmovable, always abounding” in living the Christian life.

When dealing with each other, with all our differences and ‘baggage’, weakness, and weird ways, we need help. Sometimes we just can’t figure someone out.

Starting place should be prayer. Why?
1. Because of the example of Jesus, (Lk. 6:12; 11:1; 18:1; 22:32)
2. Because of the example of the Pentecost disciples, (Acts 1:14)
3. Because of the example of the early church, (Acts 4:23-31)
4. Because of the example of Paul, Col. 1:9-11

Prayer, has been and still is the great privilege and pathway to the Throne of God, through our Master, Jesus Christ. Does it work?! Absolutely! Can we pray enough? Well, what is enough?
Paul says, “Pray without ceasing.” Why? Because WE NEED TO. Come on, we are human, with failures, weakness, imperfection, needs, and not only us, but we also pray for others. James says, “Is any among you afflicted? Let him pray…. Is any sick among you? Let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him…
And the prayer of faith shall save the sick… and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him … pray one for another, that you may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. Elijah… prayed earnestly, that it might not rain: and it rained not by the space of three years and six months. And he prayed again, and the heavens gave rain… ” James 5:13-18
How can prayer help us not quit? Well, when you think of what goes on when you pray there are some things to keep in mind.
Prayer time is a time for you and God. A time when humility is a must. A time when you need not hide anything from Him. (He knows your hurts and secrets anyway.) Usually it is most helpful when you are alone and can simply pour out your heart to Him. If you are struggling with bitterness, and hate, or jealousy, or perhaps just upset over brother or sister ______, or the leadership… Pray for them. This is much better than gossiping about them. Ask God to bless them because they are your brother and sister. Ask God to help you to understand their situation or problem. Ask God to guard your own heart from bitterness and hate. ASK HIM ANYTHING… BUT ASK!
Prayer is a positive move, a cry in faith. Somehow, when you are genuine and real in your prayers, it helps you. It lightens the ‘load’ you have been carrying. However, you have to trust Him. Know for sure, He will do something. It may not be in your time frame (like NOW), BUT He will act. He is just waiting for you to ask. To trust. To lean on him. To humble yourself.
Prayer can help you not quit. But you have to trust Him, and try not to rush into something you may regret. Prayer slows down reactions, and helps us wait on the Lord, and He will show you the right time, and give you the right words. A quick explosive temper, NEVER… NEVER… has good results.

It usually results in hurt feelings… and regrets….


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“I Quit” – (Part Three)

This article is part 3 of 7 in the series I Quit

Why do people quit, in homes and in church families? Whatever the reason for walking out or quitting, IT HURTS. In homes, everyone gets hurt. In church families, everyone gets hurt. This in itself should be a deterrent, but still in the USA, the divorce rate is still 50%, and in church families, well just look at the situation with congregations you know.

Now NOT ALL church families ‘divorce’, some happily grow and decide that they want to further their outreach by establishing another congregation across town. Praise God for this. They have learned, to accept each other, and that differences are ok. They have learned that opinions are just not worth a ‘fight’. They have learned to focus on the WHAT, that Jesus commands, instead of the HOW, that He does not specify.

THE WORLD IS LOST. Jesus weeps over this. However, too many have lost sight of this, and have gotten caught up in church family squabbles.

Another reason people quit… is the break down of COMMUNICATION. (There should be a loud AMEN to this.) Both in out homes, and church families, there should be great COMMUNICATION. People want to feel they are important, and their opinion counts. This does NOT mean they should expect to get their way. “People should have a say, but they cannot always have their way.”

Thus we come to the point that someone has to make a decision. Hopefully due to COMMUNICATION, the best decision will be made. “Two heads are better than one” and this is why there should always be a plurality of elders or leaders. This is why before one gets married or before a congregation selects leaders, good communication is in order, and must continue.

What causes COMMUNICATION to break down? Pride (“I am right all the time” “My way or the hi-way” idea.) Gossip (whether it be by email or by mouth), Lack of listening on the part of either ‘side’ (loss of objectivity), (openness), fear of sitting face to face and talking, hot tempers (impatience). There are other things I am sure that can be listed.

COMMUNICATION is invaluable to the survival of our homes and church family. COMMUNICATING is critical…

When COMMUNICATION breaks down what should we do? Well, first of all, look at ourselves. How have I contributed to the problem? Am I being proud, selfish, UNAPPROACHABLE BECAUSE OF MY TEMPER, afraid to sit and talk? Am I open to some other view point, and humble enough to accept the fact that I may not get my way? Do I walk out? Quit? Why?

Having done this, spend time in prayer, and try and gain proper perspective on the situation. With a humble spirit, just go and speak to the person, or people you need to.

Re: Leadership…

1. Encourage people to say what’s on their mind.
2. Treat their opinions with respect.
3. Be open to these opinions (APPROACHABLE) and weigh them against the will of God, and pray about it.
4. Decide whether something is
a.) No Big Deal … compromise is ok
b.) A BIG deal… compromise may not be ok.
c.) Biblical, Un-Biblical, Non-Biblical

(Biblical: Good! follow scriptures.)

(UN BIBLICAL: Bad! follow the scriptures.)

(NON BIBLICAL: MAYBE! freedom to do what is best for us).

5. Be patient and remember, THINGS CHANGE…

6. Don’t be in a hurry…

All in all, we must always be careful to guard our lifeline, major life giving artery of being able and willing to have open and free, Christian communication. Being mindful of each others feelings. The idea, “We don’t need him/her”, has NO PART IN THE BODY OF CHRIST. Paul spoke about the body of Christ in I Cor. 12… “The eye cannot say to the hand, “I DON’T NEED YOU!”, And the head (leadership) cannot say to the feet, “I DON’T NEED YOU!” On the contrary, those parts which SEEM to be weaker are INDISPENSABLE…” vss 21-26.

“What would Jesus do?” This will answer all questions on communication. DON’T QUIT


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