Having said all this, one then asks the question, “Since I have been through divorce, and am remarried, how do I proceed from here?”

1.) I want to be clear here, in that all sin is forgivable through the blood of Jesus. The need to Christians is to repent and pray. Stop doing what you have done. In this case, stop divorcing and remarrying. You are married now, right? So here are five things to at least begin with to determine. (1) YOU ARE NUMBER ONE IN MY LIFE! (2) I ACCEPT YOU AS YOU ARE – NO NEED TO CHANGE – BE YOURSELF (3) I WILL NOT MAKE A MORAL JUDGEMENT AGAINST YOU (4) YOUR FEELINGS ARE YOUR FEELINGS AND YOU ARE FREE TO HAVE THEM (5) I WILL NOT DIVORCE YOU – EVER (YOU ARE SAFE). Here we begin, and move forward in the grace of God.

2.) The is no need to try and unscramble the eggs, or have another divorce to try and un-do the past… Adultery cannot be un-done, it can only be stopped and forgiven.

3.) Grow in your understanding of how GRACE WORKS. Study, study, study… We have much on this subject here on this web site.

4.) Forgive yourself since God has forgiven you… now TRUST HIM.

5.) Go where Christians meet regularly, who also understand God’s grace.

6.) Work at building a strong, wonderful marriage…

7.) Do not let anyone convince you that the only way to heaven for you is through divorcing again and or living celibate.

8.) Consider another web site with much more indepth study on this subject, www.olanhicks.com.

9.) Practice B.E.S.T. principles. (1) BLESS your spouse (Never allow anyone to run your spouse down in your presence PERIOD! (2) EDIFY your spouse. This means build them up. Encourage them. Even in times where you get angry or your spouse gets angry, work at not allowing anger to have it’s way with you. Paul says, “Don’t let Satan gain a foothold.” (3) SHARE with your spouse. Feelings and fears, hurts etc… need to be shared if possible. It helps to bring you closer. (4) TOUCH each other. This does not mean purely sexually. Sex is good in marriage for sure, but this means just holding hands, or a gentle touch… It means a lot.

10.) Pray, and thank God for His mercy, love and grace… You are heaven bound… not because you are great or perfect… but because He is GOOD, LOVING, MERCIFUL, GRACIOUS…. and FORGIVING.

11.) Determine you will not abuse this grace from now one.

Divorce hurts… it is sin… sin is always involved in divorce in some way. I know how it feels to hurt God and others… but God’s love and grace is there for you. Now Grow! Don’t look back…

(“Whoever finds this… I love you!”)

(I encourage you to re-read Part One on this subject before reading this article.)

Is it true, as one preacher said to one lady, “You have been married too many times to be saved”? Ours is a troubled world, yet not wholly unusual when you consider the situation in which Christianity began. Another lady I spoke with recently said that she “had been through two divorces and one annulment… She said further, that she would not want to be a part of a church that was harsh on those who had been through divorce.” Now, in all honesty, today it is not hard to change churches when one gets upset or disagrees. The idea is not to hunt and pick for a church that agrees with you. It’s nice to find of course, but the real concern should be to find a group of believers who understand how grace works with sin.

Regarding the key passage in this subject… many have made the mistake of changing what the actual sin in Matthew 19:9 is. Instead of accepting what the text says, that adultery is committed in the two acts of putting away and marrying another. Instead they say that “adultery” is the sex act and is committed repeatedly in the subsequent marriage and therefore is a sin not repented of. Jesus was specific, in saying, a man who (1) puts away his wife, except for fornication, and (2) marries another, “commits adultery”.

The change originated historically with the Roman Catholic Council of Trent (16th century). They ruled that marriage is a “sacrament” and is UNBREAKABLE. Thus the divorced person is still married to the first spouse (in the eyes of God) and the next marriage is “an adulterous relationship.” This contradicts the Bible text. Matthew 19:6b says significantly, “LET NOT” not “CANNOT”. This is not pointed out to make excuses for people, or encourage sin… God forbid!  It is simply what the Bible says. (Familiar passages need to be studied again more carefully.)

It is important to understand… man’s theories, opinions and councils cannot over rule the word of God. The facts stand as the Bible states them. Jesus says, adultery occurs when a man is unfaithful or disloyal in putting away his innocent wife and marries another. In Mark 10:11, Jesus says that man who does this “commits adultery against her.” So He was talking about a sin committed AGAINST the wife put away, not a sin committed WITH the next wife.

Asking if adultery can be STOPPED, is not the same as asking “Can the adultery be UNDONE?” No, it cannot be undone. Yes it can be stopped. Any sin can be and should be repented of … forgiven… and not repeated in the future. The only answer to it is repentance and a change of behavior. Forgiveness is by God’s grace. When God said “I will be merciful to their unrighteousness and their sins and lawless deed I will remember no more,” and then His word gives examples where this particular sin was forgiven in that way, there is no reason to have any more questions or doubts about the matter. Adultery is a forgivable sin.

If one who was divorced, has now become one who is committed to one mate for life and is penitent about his former sins, that person has come from the wrong way… to God’s way. Such a person can rest assured that God will keep His promise to forgive. Understand, there will NOT be anyone in hell whom God has forgiven.

For those outside Christ, who come to Jesus by faith, repenting of sins, and are immersed into Christ (Acts 2:38-39), are forgiven of every sin (by grace). Christians, who sin, must repent and pray, and rest in His grace.

There is no evidence in the New Testament, that people were required to DIVORCE AGAIN to show proof of repentance. Grow in his grace.

Does God’s GRACE cover (a) ALL (b) SOME (c) IT DEPENDS ON WHICH ONE (d) NONE, of our sins?

To understand our subject we must keep God’s grace in mind. VITAL PRINCIPLE: “If you push any truth to an extreme, and isolate or emphasize it over other truths, it results in a loss of Biblical balance, and falls under its own weight.” “Once saved always saved” is no more correct (although certainly more attractive) than “once saved never saved or maybe saved”. One often leads to being overly confident and the other leads to no confidence at all.

VITAL QUESTION: “Is there more grace for those coming to Christ than for those who are “in Christ”? God doesn’t save us “by grace through faith” and then give us a Bible with the words, “GOOD LUCK- YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN” inscribed on the inside cover!

When it comes to ‘grace’ we need to realize that it is a divine concept, not a human concept. Thus we really do not fully understand God’s grace. We do have His word however to help us understand as much as we can. Needless to say, man often thinks of grace as UNFAIR (Matthew 20:1-16).

Grace means ‘undeserved favor’ and God’s power to become, to grow. Yet grace is often not appreciated, until seen in the light of our own sins. The answer to the sin problem is not more hell fire and damnation preachers who ignore grace…nor do we need more grace preachers who ignore sin… we need preachers who know how these fit and work together! Without Sin, grace would not be needed. Without grace, sin would be unbearable and result in hopelessness.

The specific application of grace is seen in God’s word. Here we see real confidence is found in grace and the promises of God, not in our ability to keep God’s commands perfectly.

God includes both grace and law in His New Covenant offer to man. We have to keep both in mind. “I will put my laws in their minds and will write them on their hearts” (Hebrews 8:10). His laws are immutable, and provide important, necessary guidelines (while law keeping does not save), grace/faith does. God then says, “And I will be merciful to their unrighteousness and their sins and lawless deeds I will remember no more” (Hebrews 8:12). This “mercy” and “forgiveness” is just as immutable as His laws.

We understand that God says breaking marriage (divorce) is sin. But we also need to know specifically what His mercy and grace says about forgiveness and the sin of adultery as with other sins.

Consider David and his adultery with Bathsheba in addition to murder and efforts to cover-up his sins (2 Samuel 11 & 12). When David acknowledged his sin and showed repentance Nathan said to him, “The Lord has put away your sin.” (2 Sam. 12:13). Legalism cries, NOT FAIR! The Bible still reads the same however!

Remember the adulterous woman who was brought before Jesus? The religious leaders asked Jesus “What do you say?” His statement to her was “Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more.” Legalism cries NOT FAIR! The scriptures still read the same way! You can’t get more specific than that. She is pardoned and told to stop committing the sin of adultery.

The accusation comes, “You’re just trying to fill the church with adulterers.” Well, the wake up come when you read about the next example… In 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, a list of sins is given and the third one on the list is “adulterers”. Then the text says, “Such were some of you but you were washed, sanctified, justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.” Legalism cries, NOT FAIR! Yet, it still reads the way it reads. What cleansed these brethren was and continues to be, the blood of Christ. This is the power of grace to one who comes to Jesus… Paul, tells these Christians, they had been forgiven of through the blood of Jesus Christ.

Jesus says all sins can be forgiven except what the religious leaders were doing in Mark 3:23-30 (Read it and see.)