Be it far from me to belittle our government. The early church lived under the tyrannical rule of the Romans and yet Paul instructed them to “submit yourselves to the governing authorities” (Romans 13:1-7). The apostle Peter admonishes, “Honor the king” (I Peter 2:17). In one short statement, Paul declares “Our citizenship is in heaven” (Philippians 3:20). Praise God, I’m an American and I’m 100 percent for the U.S. A. that provides our basic freedoms. Pardon me for “funning’ the government” Just remember, our Constitution and Bill Of Rights still stands as the two greatest documents ever written.
Just once in a while a statement of humor is written that needs repeating. A good friend in California sent me the following “GOVERNMENT ROAST” and I gladly share it with my readers. It’s good to laugh at ourselves sometimes.
It is entitled, “Governmentium.”
Governmentium (Gv) has one Neutron, 25 assistant netrons, 88 deputy Neutrons and 298 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it a total of 411. These 411 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by a mass of particles called peons.
Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it stops every action with which it comes into contact. A ‘drop’ of governmentium causes a reaction that takes over fifty days to complete, when it would normally take less than a minute.
Governmentium has a normal life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium rules and regulations actually increase over time. Each re-organization will cause more morons to become, neutrons forming isodopes.
Some scientists believe the governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain number in concentration and is referred to as critical morass. When money is involved, governmentium is called administratium since it has half as many peons twice as many morons.”
God told Noah to build an ark. The specifications were exact, how long, how wide, how high, how many stories, doors, windows, etc. Time limit was given and Noah “moved by faith” to build the boat. Noah had never seen rain for prior to the flood because God irrigated the earth from the ground up (Genesis 2:5-6). Noah lived hundreds of miles from the nearest ocean and that didn’t help. How would you round up all the animals and care for them? The one thing that Noah had going for him was that he did not have to face GOVERNMENTIUM.
Noah didn’t have to get a building permit. Blueprints did not have to be approved nor various codes met. Engineers didn’t have to be appointed and there was no argument about a fire sprinkler system.
The neighbors couldn’t file suit that Noah was violating zoning ordinances by building an over sized boat in his front yard. The city planning board was not called into special session. Another big hurdle was in cutting a huge amount of trees thus endangering the existing number of the spotted owl.
When Noah was gathering the animals he didn’t get sued by the animal rights group that objected to his taking two of a kind. The EPA wasn’t known then and Noah didn’t have to waste hours filing environmental impact statements of the coming flood. These groups didn’t take kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of a Supreme Being.
The Corps of Engineers wanted a map of the proposed flood plan. Noah sent them a globe. Good old Noah didn’t have to resolve a complaint with the Equal Opportunity Commission over how many minorities he was supposed to hire. By the way, the IRS couldn’t seize all his assets claiming that he was trying to leave the country. Noah didn’t received registered letters from the state claiming that he owed them some kind of user tax. Noah had relatives that called him a “nut” and had tried various ways to have him incarcerated for examination to see if he was all there.
With that, the sky cleared, the sun began to shine and a rainbow appeared arched across the sky. Noah looked up and smiled and said, “You’ve changed your mind Lord; you’re not going to destroy the world?” “No,” said the Lord, “GOVERNMENTIUM will do the job.”
By the way, the coming destruction predicted in the Word will not be by water. Peter writes, “But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night, in the which the heavens will pass away with a great noise, and the elements will melt with fervent heat; the earth also and all the works that are therein shall be burned up.
Seeing then that all these things shall be dissolved, what manner of person ought we to be in all holy conversation and godliness. Nevertheless we, according to his promise, look for a new heaven and a new earth wherein dwells righteousness” (II Peter 3:10-13).