(Special thanks to Jay Guinn  for his work on “Scary lessons of Galatians”. This lesson is largely from his study. Thanks Jay.) (Not all of this is Jay’s material… I have added quite a bit of my own thoughts. jhejr.)

  Introduction:
  a.) We studied Romans 14-16 ‘Backwards’, and noted that Paul wanted us to
       “mark” (watch out for) certain ones who were DIVISIVE, acting contrary to
       Paul’s teaching on GRACE and UNITY.
  b.) Paul called the two ‘issues’ – “disputable matters” Rom. 14:1 (“disputes over
       opinions” RSV)(“passing judgment on their scruples” TCNT).
       i.) Eating meats
      ii.) Holy days
c.) Paul’s judgment on these things are found in phrases like “accept him”,
     “must not look down”, “must not condemn”, “each should be fully convinced…”,
     “not put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way”, EVEN IF YOU
     DISAGREE!
d.) Key verse: Romans 14:17 Paul’s focus = UNITY, PEACE, MUTUAL EDIFACATION.
e.) Galatians = much different

1. The Galatian problem
    A. Galatians 4:9-11 “But now that you know God—or rather are known by God—how
         is it that you are turning back to those weak and miserable forces? Do you wish 
         to be enslaved by them all over again?  10 You are observing special days and 
         months and seasons and years! 11  I fear for you, that somehow I have wasted
         my efforts on you.”
        1.) What is the difference bet. Romans and Galatians
             a.) Romans (Paul is indifferent) Galatians (Paul is not indifferent!)
                  I.) Romans = a matter of the weak and strong brother and personal
                      preferences. Galatians is about adding to the Gospel of Christ certain
                      requirements not commanded by Paul.. (Gospel plus…..)                 
    B. Paul’s explanation
        1.) Galatians 5:1 “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and
             do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
        2.) Remember Israel wanted to RETURN AGAIN TO SLAVERY IN EGYPT
             instead of PROMISED LAND.
        3.) Galatians = preferring  the familiarity of LAW (do’s and dont’s) instead of the
              challenges and responsibilities of being free!
        4.) Galatians 5:4 “You who are trying to be justified by the law have been
             alienated from Christ; you have fallen away from grace.”
        5.) PROBLEM: Galatians didn’t just want to CELEBRATE holy days…
             They wanted to be JUSTIFIED by keeping their holy days.
    C. “Justified” = “declared righteous” – Legal term – “acquittal” – a finding of not guilty/ 
         a DECLARATION of God’s forgiveness.).
         1.) This is a one time for all time action which takes place when a person is born
               again of water and Spirit (John 3; Acts 2:38-39). By the way, a Christian
               doesn’t need to re-justified (re-born) every time he sins. 
         2.) “Justification removes the guilt of sin and restores the sinner to fellowship with 
               God.” (“Grace in which we stand” Eldred Echols, Pg. 51).
         3.) “Sanctification removes the effects of sin (moral corruption, spiritual pollution) 
               moves the Christian increasingly toward identifying with the image of
               Christ” (Eldred Echols). Thus sanctification is what we grow in. Set apart for
               “good works which He before prepared for us”.
         4.)  Now these Galatian Christians are being told, that they must show their 
               salvation by OBEDIENCE and CONFORMITY to certain ‘boundary markers’ or
               fellowship. (Ie If you don’t see things this way or that and do this or that, I
               have no fellowship with you.)
         5.) “I can’t find any difference between this idea of essential boundary markers
              and “marks of the church” or “tests of fellowship” that are added to the Gospel 
              today. (Dad listed 95 issues over which the church has argued over, been
              disturbed by). It’s the exact same approach to Christianity. And Paul
              declares that insisting on any boundary marker other than faith in 
              Jesus causes one to fall from grace.” Galatians 5.
         6.) One coin – TWO SIDES or just TWO COINS. 
              a.) If you treat HOLY DAYS (or something else) AS INDIFFERENT/ 
                   TAKE IT/LEAVE IT… THEN IT IS! If you treat those who honor holy days as
                    brothers and those who don’t as brothers, then you will stand, because
                    God will make you stand.
              b.) If you treat HOLY DAYS (or something else) AS A MARK OF THE
                   CHURCH THUS added to the Gospel THEN the blood of Christ is NOT
                   SUFFICIENT to save from the “sin” of NOT OBSERVING HOLY DAYS…
                   THEN YOU HAVE bound yourself to live perfectly and keep the entire law
                    of God. 
              c.) Which of these two points (above) best describes the church today? What is
                   the only ‘boundary mark’ that Paul mentions to the Galatians? 
         D. “Faith in Jesus” includes acknowledging “Lordship of Jesus” – Within this..
              some kept special days “unto the Lord”, and some did not. God honors both. 
              Whenever a Christian refuses to work on Sunday (considering it a “Christian
              Sabbath”, God accepts the worship. He does not accept behavior that violates 
              Galatians 5:13-14, “You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But
              do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another
              humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command:
              “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
         a.) Principle for Christians: (Holy Days, like so many other things) are neither
              loving nor unloving. They are indeed ‘indifferent’. But if we separate from our
              brothers by declaring the ‘indifferent’ a mark of the church, then that is very
              unloving — and may well separate us from God’s grace.
        b.) Galatians 5:15 “IF YOU KEEP ON BITING AND DEVOURING EACH
             OTHER, WATCH OUT OR YOU WILL BE DEVOURED BY EACH OTHER.”

Grace is truly amazing, along with our freedom in Christ. It demands that we all THINK FOR OURSELVES. We have a challenge with this because we don’t really study as much as we need to, and apply scriptures and principles to our lives as we should.
Always remember, WE HAVE BEEN FREED IN CHRIST, BECAUSE OF CHRIST, THROUGH CHRIST, FOR THE PURPOSE OF BEING FREE! Take your freedom seriously (Gal. 5:1), guard your freedom courageously (Gal. 5:2-12)  and use your freedom lovingly (Gal. 5:12-13).
The idea that Tithing, Circumcision, Rules on worship styles, can be bound as law, and become lines of fellowship is wrong. Prefering to tithe on your own, is fine, but it is not necessary for salvation…. never will be. It’s the same circumcision and styles of worship etc… The Gospel is simple, and marvelous… “faith working through love” solves many problems. The division and strife among brethren, would be solved quickly with more understanding of grace and freedom in Christ… Fellowship of conscience is one thing and seems ok, but dividing the church over matters of opinion and drawing ‘lines’ is another.    
Grow in Grace brethren…

   The grace of God is truly amazing. Our class is almost done, but the study on grace goes on. Over the past few years I have spoken and taught on God’s Amazing Grace, one thing I have tried to consistently do is begin the class by saying, “Repeat after me, “I JUST DON’T AGREE WITH YOU ON THAT.”” The reason for this, is that for some reason we just have a hard time discussing things, disagreeing, and still loving each other.
   Grace, along with a myriad of other subjects desperately need re-studied with new truths just waiting to be discovered as to application and relationship to life. Extremes need to be avoided, and a true balance found… but none of this can take place as long as we cannot sit and discuss things together and love each other throughout the process.
   It wouldn’t be the first time if someone wrote in and said, “I just don’t agree with you on that”. I probably wouldn’t melt, so what would happen? 1. I would read the objection. 2. I would give some time to think about it, while re-reading what I had written. 3. I would go to the scriptures and see if there was something I had missed. 4. Write out my response and then think about it. 5. Respond. I usually do this be pointing out, that I don’t know it all, and could be wrong, and will re-study what I have written and get back to the one submitting the objection or question. No animosity or sarcasm need be involved…. just brothers in Christ seeking truth. If this spirit can be maintained, then we will get somewhere, and even if we agree to disagree…. we continue to grow and who knows, people change…
   What happens when brethren disagree in class or in response to a sermon etc…? Sometimes brethren get angry and walk out, or stand up (as one brother did when I was preaching a lesson on “Giving”). (To be fare, I think a lesson which goes for almost an hour would make anyone upset especially when dealing with MONEY.) I was embarrassed, cut the lesson, tagged on an invitation, and went home discouraged. Who wouldn’t?
   Acts 18:24-26 we find Priscilla, Aquila and Apollos. Apollos, a good speaker, well versed and learned man, was preaching Jesus, but he only knew the baptism of John. They didn’t interrupt him, and say, “STOP THE LESSON! That’s not right Apollos!” It seems they waited and spoke with him privately and taught him more perfectly about Jesus. (At least this is what I see.)
   Paul later wrote the Corinthian brethren in regard to speaking in tongues and prophesying, and disorderly women in the assembly…   26  What then shall we say, brothers and sisters? When you come together, each of you has a hymn, or a word of instruction, a revelation, a tongue or an interpretation. Everything must be done so that the church may be built up.
27  If anyone speaks in a tongue, two—or at the most three—should speak, one at a time, and someone must interpret.
28  If there is no interpreter, the speaker should keep quiet in the church and speak to himself and to God.
29  Two or three prophets should speak, and the others should weigh carefully what is said.
30  And if a revelation comes to someone who is sitting down, the first speaker should stop.
31  For you can all prophesy in turn so that everyone may be instructed and encouraged.
32  The spirits of prophets are subject to the control of prophets.
33  For God is not a God of disorder but of peace—as in all the congregations of the Lord’s people.
34  Women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the law says.
35  If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church.
36  Or did the word of God originate with you? Or are you the only people it has reached?
37  If anyone thinks they are a prophet or otherwise gifted by the Spirit, let them acknowledge that what I am writing to you is the Lord’s command.
38  But if anyone ignores this, they will themselves be ignored.
39  Therefore, my brothers and sisters, be eager to prophesy, and do not forbid speaking in tongues.
40  But everything should be done in a fitting and orderly way.
    Obviously I Corinthians 14 is dealing with something else… and yet principles can be learned and certainly are needed.
   1. Whatever happens in the assembly should be such that it ENCOURAGES the church.
   2. What is said should be weighed carefully.
   3. If someone is speaking and someone has something to say (I assume this would be something which would help), then they should be allowed to speak. (This is not an interruption.)
   4. Turns speaking is allowed so all can be edified.
   5. Since we are in control of ourselves, then if taking a turn speaking is not in order, then be quiet.
   6. God is not a God of disorder but of peace.
   7. Everything should be done in a fitting and orderly way.
   Principle? It seems that we can be decent and orderly in our proceedings, and not get all bent out of shape when someone says something we may not agree with, but should really try and consider what is being said with care for truth. At an appropriate time, speak in a calm and decent way. Regarding opinion, certainly don’t be offended when someone doesn’t agree, or has a different slant. In all this, we don’t want weak Christians to be offended, and we certainly don’t want Christ to be shamed by our actions (walking out in anger). We don’t want to say or do something for which we will regret. So let’s learn to “do the right thing at the right time.”

   I JUST DISAGREE WITH YOU ON THAT… is not a bad saying. I won’t melt, you won’t melt. Christians can disagree and still go to heaven together, and with a little patience, love and grace… maybe we can all learn and grow…. Grace is much bigger than we think, and certainly we have a lot to learn. Let’s be patient with each other… and by all means, don’t divide the church over opinions or ‘issues’.
    For what it’s worth, I hope this little lesson provides something to think on.  
   Grow in Grace (and peace) brethren…

* “I just don’t agree with you on that!” It’s ok to disagree… I don’t know it all, but hopefully this lesson and series will help you think.
* Normal objections to GRACE come from EXTREMES. Liberal mind objects to the conservative mind set, and the conservative objects to the liberal mind set. LABELLING each other hurts not only the one LABELLED but the LABELLER, and the body of Christ. It generally means that we just group people that we do not want to meet, know or understand. When we label someone, we are saying they are 100% (whatever). When in fact it may be a position taken on one or two things as opposed to many things with which there is no disagreement. Perhaps we need to be more patient with brethren.
* Sincere objections always have merit and tend to help us avoid extremes and make us re-examine our posture more closely.
* Here are a few objections from both sides of the fence that may help us all stop and think.

1. GRACE IS TOO GENERAL – WE NEED MORE SPECIFICS
     A. Here it seems BALANCE is called for and rightly so. Yet we lack the patience to
          study and not only understand GRACE but learn how it is applied and fits in real 
          life.
     B. Grace without specifics is “half-baked”. Yet ‘specifics’ are not understood without
          first understanding the ‘big picture’ of grace first.
     C. Begin with understanding the ‘foundation’ – the ‘overview’ and then see how it fits
          into and works in connection with specific commands.
     D. Avoid the temptation to apply grace only to BECOMING A CHRISTIAN and then
          omit grace from the Christian life. (You can’t go to heaven in a straight line!”)
2. “WE NEED MORE HELL-FIRE AND DAMNATION PREACHING TODAY!”
     A. There is certainly a place for warnings about hell and being lost… But what good
          is preaching hell fire and damnation without the teaching of grace by which one is
          saved from this?
     B. On the other hand, what good is preaching grace only if there is no teaching on
          the awfulness of sin and the danger of being lost?
    C. Our real need is for preachers and teachers and leaders who KNOW AND
         UNDERSTAND HOW THIS ALL FITS AND WORKS TOGETHER.
     D. Once again the need for BALANCE IS SEEN.
3. “THIS PREACHING OF GRACE ALLOWS PEOPLE TO LIVE LOOSE AND
      IMMORAL LIVES.”
     A. No it does not.
     B. If grace is taught right, it will include Paul’s instruction in Romans 6:1-2 and Titus
          2:11-12
     C. When one teaches grace right and one understands grace right… both the 
          teacher and the student are lifted to higher spiritual ground.
4. “GRACE OFFERS TOO MUCH FREEDOM AND INDIVIDUAL RESPONSIBILITY.”
     A. That is exactly why we need to TEACH IT, PREACH IT PROPERLY and
          encourage Christians to  BELIEVE IT, LIVE AND DEMONSTRATE IT in daily
          lives.
     B. Leaders who FOCUS ON rules and regulations, don’t understand grace.
     C. We are not only SAVED BY GRACE INITIALLY… BUT we WORSHIP GOD,
          GROW, GIVE, LIVE AND STAND IN GRACE THROUGOUT OUR CHRISTIAN
          LIFE. Christian do not depend on ‘rule keeping’ to (stay) saved and if they do, 
          they are fallen from grace (Galatians 5:4).
     D. The real danger is not in GRACE but in being gobbled up by a SYSTEM OF
          LAW/WORKS and loosing our VERTICAL RELATIONSHIP AND POWER. The
          danger of just becoming a ‘digit’ on somebody’s attendance punch card.
     E. Grace brings freedom… freedom to grow and live and think, pray, study, love,
          sacrifice… and Grace brings personal responsibility which each one of us must 
          bear and account for (Galatians 6:5-8).
5. “SOUNDS LIKE NEW PREACHING TO ME!”
     A. This comes from someone who may have lost his freedom.
     B. The freedom to read the word all by yourself, see what it says, and understand
          the meaning.
     C. Familiar passages need to be studied again more carefully (without the chains of
          traditional interpretation).
     D. The church is not the authority, nor are leaders… THE WORD OF GOD IS!
     E. Let’s admit it, we have just been out of balance on this subject.
     F. If preaching grace properly sounds NEW, so be it… let’s get on with it.
6. “IF YOU PREACH GRACE, PEOPLE WILL QUIT WORKING AND GIVING IN THE
     CHURCH.”
     A. Again, that is not so.
     B. I Corinthians 15:10
     C. Grace understood motivates one to do more and enjoy it.
     D. Both LAW and GRACE motivates…. ONLY ONE OF THESE WILL BRING JOY.
7. WHAT ABOUT GRACE WITHOUT OBEDIENCE
     A. Can you imagine Paul not obeying Jesus?
     B. C.M.M.D.H.T.H.H. (Can’t Make Me, Don’t Have To, Ha Ha) = cheap grace
     C. Jonah had hard time with God’s grace to Nineveh. They repented/God backed off/
          Jonah got mad!
     D. Matthew 20:1-6
     E. Grace isn’t ‘fair’ to us. Grace is grace. GRACE MOTIVATE ONE TO
         OBEDIENCE.
     F. Prodigal son – grace – elder brother complained – ‘not fair’.
8.  “GRACE IS WHAT OUR RELIGIOUS NEIGHBORS TEACH”
     A. They see the over-all picture better than we do at times. We see specifics better
          than they do at times. They need balance and so do we.
    B. Obedience based on LAW/WORKS is legalism… obedience based on
         GRACE/FAITH is the natural product and fruit of the Spirit of God in the
         Christian’s life.
    C. This is what conversion is all about, (2 Peter 1:4).
9. “GRACE SOUNDS WEAK TO ME”
    A. Here again our weakness and misunderstanding (perhaps fear) of grace is seen.
    B. As a rule we are weak in GRACES and strong on RULES/OBEDIENCE/WORKS.
        The sweetness of the Christian life is not found in LAW/RULES/WORKS etc…
        JOY IS CERTAINLY NOT FOUND IN THESE. Our challenge is in finding the 
        BALANCE IN ALL THIS.
    C. Ephesians 2:1-10 Speaks to how strong… really strong grace is…  Our weakness
         is in understanding grace.
    C. Unity in the body of Christ suffers.
    D. Colossians 3:12-15

I am sure that there are more objections, and I am equally sure that these answers may not satisfy some. At least these may help us think. You might even want to get your concordance out and look up the scriptures listed on grace and study for yourself.  Here are just some….

John 1:14, 16-17; Acts 4:33; 13:43; 14:3; Romans 1:5, 7; 3:24; 4:16; 5:2, 15, 20; 6:1; 11:6; 15:15; I Corinthians 15:10; 2 Corinthians 4:15; 8:1, 6, 7, 9; 12:9; Galatians 1:6; 5:4; Ephesians 1:7; 2:5, 7, 8; 2 Thessalonians 2:16; 1 Timothy 1:14; Titus 2:11; Hebrews 4:16; 13:9; James 4:6;I Peter 4:10; 5:5, 10; 2 peter 3:18; Jude 4.

* Paul had a problem. Don’t know what it is. Many have debated on ‘what’ his
“thorn in the flesh” was, but PAUL LIVED WITH IT! So, let us not think of Paul
as a ‘spiritual Superman’… s/one above suffering, because he wasn’t. Paul
finally cries out, “Why me Lord?””Why this?” Sounds very much like us!!!
* 2 Corinthians 12:7-12
* God’s answer “TAKE MY GRACE AND WAIT”
* No one has the total answer to the “Why?” of hard times/suffering/trials….
But the believer has an advantage… those in Christ can stand in God’s grace and
wait till the answer comes.
* Paul = not first nor last to: (a) wonder in his hurt, (b) crey out to god in
his pain, (c) release himself fully to the grace of God.
* James 1:3; Romans 5:4; Heb. 12:11
* Four basic reasons for why we suffer. Time will tell which applies to your
situation. All come from God’s GRACE not God’s ANGER. All are designed for our
good.. perfecting… growth of our lives in Christ.

1. GRACE IS SUFFICIENT IN SUFFERING TO TEST OUR FAITH
    A. A faith untested is a disciple in prospect – UNTESTED and UNPROVEN.
    B. Students=tested w/EXAMINATION. Bridges=tested w/WEIGHT/STRESS
    C. I Peter 4:12-13
    D. The test is not to show the strength of the bridge or the knowledge of the
         student… but to reveal the flaws (so corrections can be made).
    E. Being a disciple doesn’t make one immune to suffering… it guarantees GRACE
         and the WORKING OF THE HOLY SPIRIT THROUGH THE PROCESS.
    F. “My grace is sufficient for you” and this is regardless of the situation – YOU ARE
         COVERED.
   G. I Peter 1:7
2. GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR DISCIPLING US
    A. Discipline IS NOT PUNISHMENT 
         1.) Discipline=for a son -Punishment=for a criminal
         2.) Discipline- has hope and help in correction – Punishment has hurt and shame.
         3.) Love is the basis for DISCIPLINE where JUSTICE OR VENGEANCE is the
              basis for punishment.
    B. When we obey our parents we HONOR them (Ephesians 6:1-2), when they
         DISCIPLINE us we REVERENCE (respect) them (Hebrews12:9).
    C. The CMMDHT concept = cheap, abuse of grace. No growth takes place here.
    D. Grace enables, allows discipline and growth.
3. GRACE IS SUFFICIENT IN TRIALS AND SUFFERING TO HUMBLE US
    A. James 4:6,7, 10.
    B. “We tend to grow in our own conceit. We become “big people” and begin to feel
         our own ‘clout’. With our Master Card we can buy anything, go anywhere. We plan
         to live anywhere and build bigger barns. The Proverb, “Pride goes before a fall” is
         still true!
     C. You cannot fill what is full nor teach someone who thinks they know it all.
     D. God cannot lift the one who considers him/herself in this manner.
     E. Humbling yourself is better than God humbling you!
4. GRACE IS SUFFICIENT TO WORKOUT GOD’S WILL IN YOUR LIFE
    A. Discovering God’s will for your life truly takes humility and time… not bargaining
         and pride.
    B. Story of Joseph Genesis 37,39-45:5; 50 Joseph’s life of ups and downs….

Conclusion:
Grace is sufficient for the Christian who like Joseph goes through trials and
suffering… ups and downs. His grace is sufficient especially when God’s plan is
not clear. Sometimes, God’s grace is all we have…but in the end… it is enough
for the journey.
1 Peter 5:10 “And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in
Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and
make you strong, firm and steadfast.”
Heaven bound by grace!!!!

This is one of the most problematic of our studies, and yet one of the most hopeful. The dimensions of forgiving grace have been limited by some while still touting the “completeness” of His forgiveness Heb. 7:25-28). Forgiving grace has been abused by others (Romans 6:1-2), and misunderstood by other who know the meaning (unmerited favor) but fail in the application of this marvelous outpouring of God’s love. Forgiving grace can also be un-believed by others who feel they are beyond His loving hands. Whether LIMITED, ABUSED, MISUNDERSTOOD, OR UNBELIEVED… the result is the same, limited joy and success in the Christian life. Everyone wants to be forgiven, yet fail to realize the “give and you will get” principle tied to it (Matthew 6:14-15; 18:21-35). Forgiving grace IS AT THE HEART OF GOD’S GREATES GIFT – JESUS!

Introduction:
Bible forgiveness is to (a) GRANT FREE PARDON  (this is grace), and (b) STOP FEELING RESENTMENT (Part B is harder and takes more time because of the healing process. Forgiveness is THE BEGINNING OF HEALING.) BOTH ARE OF EQUAL IMPORTANCE TO THE PROCESS!!! Both are critical to this gift of grace and both involve the head and heart of the one wounded.
To offer “free pardon” to an offender, with no ifs, ands, or buts attached is pure grace (cf. Lk. 15:11-32). To “stop feeling resentment” is the crowning blessing of forgiving grace. This is grace – pure grace – God’s grace – and He offers both to all (Revelation 22:17). THERE IS A “BALM IN GILEAD” (Jer. 7:22). Healing is offered freely, which enables the forgiven, to extend this grace to the one who wounded him/her. THE FIRST GRACE EXTENDS LIFE TO THE WOUNDED AND THE SECOND GIFT REVIVES LIFE IN THE WOUNDED. BOTH ARE ESSENTIAL – IMPERATIVE – ABSOLUTE, for one without the other leaves the problem only HALF SOLVED!
True FORGIVING GRACE is a paradigm shift for many if not all Christians!
When Paul says, “Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God” (Romans 5:1-2)… he simply mentions GRACE, this includes, FORGIVING GRACE!!!

1. FORGIVENESS IS NOT FORGETTING!
    Well IF WE CANNOT FORGET, then how can we deal with the bad thoughts and memories that keep bothering us all day and night? The key word here is “bothering”, and the answer is found in 1.) forgiveness and 2.) learning a lesson making changes 3.) focus on the present and future and not the past.
    A. The human brain is not made to forget, if it could, lessons would not be learned.
    B. Why try and forget something which can teach a VITAL LESSON (stepping stones)
    C. We are disciples (learners) not forgetters, and some of the greatest lessons, and times of growth comes from situations where there are heartaches and stress. BESIDES, WHEN GRACE IS EXTENDED TO THE TORMENTOR, HEALING GRACE IS GIVEN TO THE TORMENTED. DON’T FORGET… LEARN, GROW AND REJOICE IN THE GROWING. Here we find a WIN-WIN situation. The forgiver is not tied to the past, and the offender is free as well.
(Note: Dealing with “Tolerating” will be considered in #3.)

2. FORGIVENESS IS NOT AN ELECTIVE OPTION
    A. We have no right to play the old parlor game “Heavy heavy hangs over your head”. Forgiving is for HEALING. It takes away the idea of always bringing things up that were supposedly forgiven.  (IF YOU ARE GOING TO FORGIVE, GO ALL THE WAY!)
    B. Paul says, “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord” (Romans 12:17-19).
    C. FORGIVENESS IS THE ONLY HOPE FOR THE OFFENDED AND OFFENDER.
    D. God is more interested in the OFFENDED that the OFFENDER, especially if the OFFENDED is a Christian. He wants His child to heal, grow, and be protected against bitterness. God will protect and restore the wounded before he will help the one who crushed him to the ground. Both need help, but God will BEGIN with the one who needs it most. So if you have been wounded, forgive freely, it’s your only hope.

3. FORGIVENESS DOES NOT DEPEND ON THE OTHER PERSON
     A. Yes! It is necessary for one to repent and ASK for forgiveness (and receive it) before forgiveness to be complete, but even if someone is mean, doesn’t ask or want your forgiveness… (You can’t make a person “be sorry” or repent), but THE OFFENDED, THE HURT PERSON CAN FULLY PREPARE THE GIFT OF GRACE and even if it takes a lifetime… can be prepared to give the gift.
     B. Consider WHY this is important.
It wards off BITTERNESS in the heart as one says in his/her heart “I FORGIVE YOU ANYWAY”.  It maintains your communion with God and doesn’t block your prayers (as Bitterness does). It allows you to continue growing in grace (2 Timothy 4:16-18).
     C. What about “Toleration”? There are people who offend, and don’t care, and won’t change. What now? Well, first take care of your own heart. You must be willing to give the gift. However, some people are close to us either by association at work, or family, or even church. Contact is inevitable. Suggestions:
          1.) Maintain your stand in grace and be ready to forgive. (WWJD)
          2.) Where trust is broken, and there is fear of repetition, be cordial.
          3.) Boundaries are critical. Determine what actions can and cannot be tolerated. Bad actions don’t have to be tolerated. Bad people don’t have to be allowed in your inner circle. But you have the Holy Spirit to help you treat this person right.
          4.) When boundaries are crossed, be assertive and deal with the action in such a way that you don’t have to look back and ask yourself, “Did I do wrong.” Maintaining a stand on certain things is not wrong, it’s how we do it that makes all the difference.
           5.) Matthew 18:15-20 deals with a brother who sins against you…. Matthew 18:15 “If your brother or sister sins against you,  go and point out their fault,  just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.” How it is done, makes a lot of difference.
           6.) Don’t put off dealing with problems…. They just get worse!

4. THE UNFORGIVER IS UNFORGIVEN.
     A. I don’t like this one. Yet it is plain. I cannot tell you when God will reject the Christian who is an un-forgiver. Yet Jesus is plain, “But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:15). This one will eventually be lost. Matthew 18:21-35 gives a more graphic story concerning this.

5. NOTHING TAKES THE PLACE OF FORGIVENESS
    A. “Let’s just forget it!” “Let’s bury the hatchet!”, “I’ll just move to another congregation!”, “Let’s just get re-baptized!”, “Let’s just pray about it!”, “Let’s just say it never happened!”.None of these things will work!!! None of these things takes the place of forgiveness… ASKED FOR AND RECEIVED FREELY.

6. FORGIVENESS IS SPIRITUAL AND TAKES PLACE IN THE HEART
     A. Galatians 6:1
     B. Who is called on to do the restoring? An elder? Deacon? Minister? NO! The spiritual (filled with the Spirit) brother or sister in Christ.
     C. Is this easy? No! Yet it must be done. Would you allow an amateur to operate on your physical heart? Would you want a beginner to operate on your brain? Forgiveness probes deeply into the heart… only the spiritual can expect to succeed, (Ephesians 4:32).

7. THE UNFORGIVEN ARE HELPLESS
    A. This is what is so bad about the unforgiving person. He/she leaves the other to just spiritually ‘bleed out and die’. Read again Ephesians 4:30-32
   
Jesus paid the full price of our sins as well as others. How would God see you without Jesus’ cleansing blood? We owe Him so much and yet He forgives….. This is FORGIVING GRACE!
GROW IN GRACE… NOT BITTERNESS….