I think everyone has times like this and some people seem to take it in stride while others… not so much… still others may crash. What then can one do?
(Using “Winning over stress” by Jack Exum as an ‘kick-off’ point. This book can be purchased and downloaded through Smashwords.com) This article includes thought from myself and dad.)
Stress is a natural response to problems, situations etc… How we deal with stress seems to be a mix of both natural and learned methods (habits). This can be learned from childhood of later in life. I personally tend to try and avoid confrontations, which is not a good thing all the time. I (unfortunately) learned over the years to withdraw and not talk. This is bad because things build up inside and eventually comes out in different ways. Here are ten things mentioned in dad’s book… LET’S GET STARTED as we expand on each.
How to deal with things that happen, and feel like life is caving in?
1. “Turn the word FAITH into the word TRUST.”
How quickly we forget the spiritual side, and sources at our disposal? Pressure seems too great to deal with, and instinct takes over. Do we fight or run? Often this leads to anger… DANGER AHEAD! “Just deal with it! Get over it! This is not great advice. Life isn’t so easy. Faith and trust are thought of as synonymous. Perhaps, but then real faith can grow and keep growing. Trusting in God, turning life over to Him as Abraham and others show.
IS REAL TRUST AN EASY THING? Not to me. It was not easy for the disciples of Jesus. They learned to trust as they saw and experienced the faithfulness and care of Jesus. Still their faith was not as strong UNTIL… resurrection day came. One thing I love about MMLJ is the way Jesus gave these early followers “elbow room.” He let and helped them GROW! When will we learn?
Stress kills for sure along with worry. Given time it affects the health. Turning your eyes towards the grave earlier than normal. Building mountains out of molehills. Getting nothing accomplished. Next day is worse… So grow in your faith. Read the Gospels and see how the disciples show us US, and how Jesus shows us GOD and how much He loves us. He never failed them, and He won’t fail you.
Read the Psalms… see David and put yourself right there and learn to let the Lord be your shepherd. TRUST!
2. “Begin each day with a song”
This is hard for me. Actually all of these things are hard for me. I have to keep going over this to make these principles mine. “Allow your daily pace to be set to music.” Songs like “When we walk with the Lord, in the light of his word; What a glory he sheds on our way; When we do his good will, he abides with us still and with all who will trust and obey.” The old song, “T’is so sweet to trust in Jesus,” or “Only trust him.” Songs that build TRUST.
“You pick your favorite song, and sing. Start now. Go on, burst into praise. Sing a line and turn your heart to God and relax. The secret is in the habit. Sing in the morning, sing at the noon time, and then again when the shadows grow heavy with darkness. Human stress and spiritual hands never hold hands.”
3. Pick out your special verse of Scripture”
I’m not a great memorizer. Even in preacher school (PRSOP) I struggled while others looked one time, and it was ‘there’ for life! Now at 76 when I look back and wish I had put the effort into this mental muscle I feel like a beginner. Well better now than never, right? Something just occurred to me on this. Growing up in the church meant we were “in church” every time the doors were open, and sometimes when they weren’t! Being a PK probably had a lot to do with that.
We regularly sang at least 5 spiritual songs every time we gathered as a church family. We sang as a family when traveling in the car or VW Bus… all the time. We loved to sing! Over time we knew many of the songs in the old brown song book. I would occasionally lead singing. A favorite was “Hallelujah Praise Jehovah,” and I loved it, and became kind of proficient (not professional) in song leading. Anyway, I tell you this to emphasize a point. You got to love God and the Scriptures. You have to get that feeling that there is something you are getting from this. Take for example my favorite verse in Psalms 37:4 (actually verses 1-8) but verse 4 says, “TRUST in the Lord, and DO GOOD…” It’s just a part of the verse but it is a great heart lifting seven words. Another verse is Psalms 34:1 “I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth.” “Simple trust, simple song, simple verse(s).” Encouragement for the moment and day. Try it! Find your verse, it helps!
4.”Turn outward”
Admit it, we all tend to be a bit self-centered. For the self-centered person seldom finds victory over stress. Why? The answer is not within, usually the problem is. It is hard for this person to find good in others. “If you are SERIOUS about cutting stress, find something good in everyone you see. When the heart is full of goodness, and the lips speak with beautiful words the praises of God in others, that feature alone will lower the blood pressure on a crowded freeway.” “That’s hypocritical!” you say. “I just can’t do that!” Frankly it’s not that you can’t, it’s YOU WON’T. We insist on letting the anger, hurt, and desire to strike back, take over. This just increases the stress, to say nothing about blood pressure. “Life is good, overwhelmingly good and people are waiting to be reminded of it.” People are needing encouragement, and you may be just the one they need to hear it from. Fill the gap, stand up for good. “Turn outward” and the benefits to you will be numerous. Read Psalms 37 for encouragement when dealing with ‘not so nice’ people, or the corrupt. (Again, good Scriptures help.) “Focus on others; compliment others; praise others; do for others… lose yourself in the needs of others… and in so doing, deal another death blow to stress.”
5. “Touching reduces stress”
Ok, let’s get real! “Touching” brings all kind of thoughts, some are positive and others negative. Being hammered with negative or sinful thoughts of touching should be denied and of course the Bible speaks on this. The positive use of this encouraged, why?
a.) From birth we thrive on it. Studies have been done on this. Babies NEED loving touch. This 76 year old scribe still needs it.
b.) ‘Touching’ can re-enforce connection and the feeling of being accepted.
On the other hand the lack of it can be and usually is emotionally destructive. Pulling away from someone builds emotional walls. Think about it. Do the research.
Here’s what dad says. “You know I am referring to “touching in the right places.” This platonic. non-erotic touch is one of inner feeling. Many of you who read this grew up in NON-TOUCHING a family. You will be tempted to pass this one by as being rather silly. To the contrary, I COULDN’T BE MORE SERIOUS.
We live above each other, beside each other, under each other, around each other, BUT SELDOM DO WE TOUCH. What a pity, for within the process of a loving touch is another nail in the coffin of stress. Touching says, “We’re related.” We belong to the human race and therefore (in a real sense) to each other. Perfect strangers can find (almost) immediate identity “in the tough.” Ann Landers found the vast majority of women enjoyed the touch and found the sensitive stroke of a husband’s love more fulfilling than the act of copulation (sex).Husbands touching (their) wives , wives responding with tender hands. Parents touching children, children reacting to the arms of mother and father. Friends and relatives rejoicing in the presence of each other.
Now turn the dial up a couple of notches and HUG. Hug others, friends, relatives, neighbors – BE A HUGGER and see what happens to all that stress you’ve been carrying. Be a full-blown, double armed, breast to chest hugger. Quit wondering if they will break your glasses. QUIT THINKING EVIL THOUGHTS ABOUT OTHERS BEING “DIRTY OLD MEN AND WOMEN.” Trust God and you will trust others more readily. BE A HUGGER!”
Here’s a poem dad included in a back page of his New Testament. I don’t think he knew the author and nor do I… Maybe you can help me on this.
So, what do you think? Let me know!
“TOUCH ME”
“Touch me in the morning while the night still clings,
Touch me at mid-day when confusion crowds around me.
Touch me in the evening when I see and hear you, best of all.
Touch me at night when I can’t see you,
but I know you are there.
Touch me with your hands and also with your eyes.
Touch me with your words, and with your thoughts.
Touch me with your presence in the room.
Touch me like a child who is strong enough to give,
Touch me like a mother
who brought life into the world.
Touch me like a father,
who’s gnarled and calloused hands OFTEN touch things as well as people.
Touch me when I ask you to-
Touch me when I’m afraid to ask you to.
Touch me gentle, for I’m so fragile.
Touch me firmly, I’m so strong.
BUT MOST IMPORTANT – TOUCH ME OFTEN –
FOR WITHOUT YOU TOUCH I FEEL SO ALONE.”
(References to “Touching,” which have helped me… Matthew 8:1-3; 8:15; 9:20, 29; 14:36). Study, reflect, apply what you learn, and share.
Grow in grace my friends…
(End Part One)
Part Two includes the following…
6. “A special deed of kindness each day”
7. Make your list and get started”
8. Put it in a box and tie it with a ribbon”
9. “Belly breathe… relax those muscles, exercise”
10. Now is the time to pray”
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