Our dream, our hope growing up was to have a place we could just ‘stay put!’ The church in general really doesn’t know what preacher families go through. They don’t understand the inner-struggle and feelings of instability the preacher-family has to live with. Almost anything can be a reason for having the dreaded-elder-meeting where the preacher hears the words, “it’s time for a change in preachers.” Of course this is ‘couched’ in acceptable, comforting language. However the end result is the same, since dad would come home and first talk with mom, “Honey, it looks like we are going to move again.” Then the news to us kids. Mom cried and we spoke out! “We don’t want to move!” “We just settled in, and have friends!” “It cannot be helped,” dad would say. So, we will be moving as soon as we find anther church. End result? NO ROOTS!
Not trying to give the idea that we were not grateful, but speaking as a PK (preacher’s kid), we didn’t like moving. It seemed to happen every 3-5 years. Our best time was 1964-1968 when we moved from the States to do mission work in Ireland. We went through adjustments of course, but looking back, the adventure was fun. New schools? Again, a bit difficult, but still the adventure was there. Learning to drive on the wrong side of the road, double-decker-busses, fish and chips, new sites, girls(!), English candy(!), fresh cooked breads and butter with honey, camping in the Mountains of Mourne (that sweep down to the sea, vacations to different parts of Ireland, more girls(!). It was a chance to settle down and be somewhat normal. We (kids) were the ‘novelties,’ as Americans were respected by most.
I went to a school called METHODIST COLLEGE BELFAST, (high school), where we had daily ‘Religious class,’ where they used the Bible (of course the in-school priest taught). I think I was a bit of a pain to him since ‘I knew more Bible than most.’ My brothers went to ANNADALE (high school) and the two schools were competitive ‘enemies’ in football (soccer), rugby etc… There are many more memories and photos, but I tell you this because we had our own place, (76 Gilnahirk Road), and a feeling of what it was like to be settled.
“Things change!” However, the adventure of a foreign mission field, and establishing the East Side Church of Christ (Belfast), was successful and still exists.
Bottom line… being a PK has its ups and downs… The dream… MOVE NO MORE! Settle down, establish roots, make friends (real friends) like other people did. This finally happened after dad retired from local work, and started his TUD ministry. No more moving… mom and dad had their own place, and we had a place called home. Even though by that time, we kids had grown up, gotten married, and moved out (except for Bob who stuck around for several years till he got married).
I can’t over-state the importance to the preacher family, the need for buying their own place. Churches mean well having a PH (preacher’s house). Usually behind the building. “We just want to help the preacher and our small congregation.” Well, good intentions or not, it is wiser to help a preacher family get started in their own place. It gives a sense of belonging being the main benefit. Don’t hire someone with the idea, “If we don’t like them, they can move.” This is true of course, but why hire someone with this in mind? Preaching is hard enough on the PF (preacher’s family), so really try to plan on a preacher staying, working out problems, growing together. Love the PF. Treat them well. Don’t allow the church gossiper to continue undermining the church or the preacher. Don’t expect the PKs to be perfect!!! They are not perfect! They are kids. Relax around the PKs and just encourage them. The church in general has a hard enough time winning the world to Christ, much less trying to change preachers every time a well-to-do member gets his/her feathers ruffled. Do your job elders. Correct and discipling the gossiper, disgruntled, trouble-makers. Protect your preacher and PF. Give people ‘elbow room’ and grow together!
There’s much more to all this and maybe I ‘ll get one of those ’round-to-its’ and write more. If not, I’ll leave you with this… Grow in grace, together!
