This has become more of a problem as “political correctness” and public support is pushed by Hollywood and others try and get this along with other ‘life-styles’ accepted as a normal thing.
The Christian however, ‘marches to a different Drummer’ and there can be no compromise on this (Romans 12:2). This article is more in the form of an outline, and thus not much is expanded on. However, the attitude with which this article (and others which follow in the future), is presented, is purely from a desire to help…. and while Bible believers have to take a stand for truth, it must always be presented with the attitude of love and concern for people.
This article is the result of a request from a teenager asking for help in answering a question which a friend asked him. She had a teenage friend who is struggling with homosexuality and didn’t know how to help him.
Here was my reply:
1. This will be a struggle with your friend until it is conquered. It is truly a serious question, that deserves serious study of the Word of God, and prayer, and especially, a desire to do what is right. Even so it will not be easy for your friend.
2. The Bible, (our only authority) does not teach that people are born homosexuals, lesbians any more than someone who has sex with animals. We are born male or female, and we are born with a ‘sex-drive.’ There are some while growing up, going through puberty, who may be curious about homosexual activity even before they know the word ‘homosexual.’ Perhaps they may hear about it or see it on television or read about it. Perhaps it is even condoned and taught as a just another “life style” in school sex education or some other class. However, one needs to understand that Homosexuality is a matter of choice, not the way one is born.
3. What makes Homosexuality wrong…
a.) The way we are made physically. This should be obvious (male/female)
b.) God’s Word says so…
i.) Genesis 18:20-25
ii.) Leviticus 18:22-28
iii.) Romans 1:18-32
iv.) I Corinthians 6:15-20
4. What to do:
a.) This friend is going to need REAL FRIENDS through this. Let him know he has REAL FRIENDS WHO CARE. Christian agape love which loves a person in-spite of and not because of merit. This love is not physical or fleshly, and is even above the friendship or familial type love… It is the love God loves us with, (I Corinthians 13; Galatians 6:1-5). In no way should your friend convey the idea that homosexuality is condoned, while trying to help. Homosexuality is never right and needs to STOP because it is wrong and unnatural, (ie against the reason God made male and female).
b.) This person will be struggling with what political, and social leaders on tv are saying. They are trying to pass laws, and get everyone to believe this is something natural…. But it is not. So it is a question of which AUTHORITY he will accept, God’s Word or Social leaders and politicians and Hollywood movies.
c.) He needs to know that God is NOT AGAINST HIM, anymore than someone who murders or commits adultery. God definitely LOVES HIM. Proof? Jesus died on the cross for him. God is AGAINST SIN. People who sin, are going to hurt themselves and others, God doesn’t want that… He wants all people to turn from SIN and come to Him, because he knows what is best. Someone told me, “All Satan’s apples, got worms in them.” The ‘fruit’ looks inviting, but reality is found inside. Consequences always come with sin.
d.) He is going to have to make a choice… this is where friendship comes in strong. Good friends will work with him and support him through this. He definitely needs a Christian counselor or support group of fellow-strugglers, who are dealing with the same thing. This is perhaps where the most help will come from. Support groups are good and needed as well.
e.) If he chooses to fight this, then he will have to avoid everything which suggests it, or makes it look inviting. Sin begins in the heart and mind. Thus the solution begins in the heart and mind…where you start thinking differently, (Philippians 4:8-9). Change the thinking…. And you change the actions, every time. The body is under the control of the mind, not the other way around (2 Corinthians 10:5).
f.) Finally he must know, must be told, that although your friendship is true, and you will help him change and get to Christ, you will in no way condone Homosexuality.
g.) (I have amended my thoughts here.) In the end, if he refuses to change, then you have the choice on whether or not, to avoid this person, for the sake of your reputation. If you do, be sure it is conveyed in a Christian manner. You may speak with him, and say, “We can be friends, but in no way do I support your decision to be homosexual, nor will I be spending time with you in situations which can be construed in a bad way.” Here you must be firm, but kind.
Being a Christian means taking a stand on things like this. It may cost a friendship, but you don’t have to be unChristian in your attitude in making your stand for what you believe.
Remember, people judge you by your friends (every time). Thus the Christian must be careful.
5. This is not easy by any means, but you are growing in Christ fast, and I appreciate your asking me to help. These principles may help in other situations as well. Read the passages, study and mark them for easy reference.